Speaking and Silence in Relationships

                I think both speaking and silence are important in any relationship. I remember one class, Professor Lambke told us that our reading said women listen by nodding and smiling and men listen by engaging the conversation and trying to argue. Even though this was an older writing, I wanted to see how I compared. The person I talk to everyday is my boyfriend, Brandon, and we usually tell each other about our days or something interesting that happened. I think it was important to see how I used speaking and silence with Brandon because I find our relationship to be the most important one in my life. As Brandon began to talk about his day, I realized that I listen more than I throw in random questions or jokes here and there. I also found that Brandon would rather have me engage the conversation because he said it was creepy when I just smiled and nodded.

                One should know the difference between speaking and engaging. It was interesting that after Brandon finished telling me about his day, he asked how my day was. It is really important to speak in a relationship and not just speaking by changing the subject, but rather engage the conversation. I remember reading a commencement speech by an amazing writer named David Foster Wallace, about how difficult it is to live life consciously. It is common for people to resort to a default, or auto pilot, setting where they just go through the motions and not exactly engage people. It takes certain people to keep a conversation flowing with good engaging speaking and silence.